my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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