At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize