he puts the penis in happiness.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
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