I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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