You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I wish I could teleport
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
