whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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