You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
