3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
