The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
