So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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