Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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