Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
someone get that fucking seahorse.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
How does it feel to date your dad?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
