Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
