Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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