Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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