Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
