So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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