Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
