with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
