is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
