# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize