Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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