You're a womanizer and a bitch.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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