you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
