he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
