My brain says no but my pants say off.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
