im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
