Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
