just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
