Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
