That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
