Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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