Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Randomize