I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sext me about skeletons
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
