What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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