mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
