i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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