i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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