You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
