They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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