My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
