where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i already hear my dad disowning me
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
