would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Randomize