I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
