i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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