just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
