a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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