The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
