When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
