i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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