We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
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