Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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