so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize