I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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