I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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