Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
