You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
