I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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