Your face is a jimmy john
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize